Quiddity
Findings (Thursday 14/08/08)
This drive to collect is a family trait.
Owls, teaspoons, buses, badges...
Was I disappointed? Having set myself a day to rediscover objects and stuck to it, I was left feeling quite disturbed. Uprooting items that have been tucked away for years left me with an uneasy feeling.
Everything was ugly.
A Steiff hedgehog coverered in mould, a forlorn teddy bear whose last scraps of fur were held together by netting that left it naked and vulnerable. A faded porcelain caterpilar hand painted by me c. 1995. If only I could find the life size porcelain Pug dog whose gritty grey paint still looked tacky. I even found teeth! Unfolding before my eyes was a macabre hoard of sad, lonely things. Sads. They no longer had a function but had a very specific resting place and I was the archaeologist.
The task had become a mammoth tidying my room session in a room that has not been used as my bedroom for years. Some items had devalued emotionally whilst others gained talisman status.
I didn't want to be brutal with my memories.
Did I think there would be more?
Having drawn upon my own collections of inanimates and the recent urge I have had to purge old belongings to make a pychological space for the future I am left wondering what attracts me to certain objects and why have I hung on for so long? What drove me to give these ugly things refuge?
In my simplifying and breaking down of these objects into line drawings, narrative and illustration began to emerge. I was reminded of Flat Stanley, Alice In Wonderland and other childhood texts. Meaning, memory,narrative...or just a collection?
Creating work and continuing a personal practice within the confines of work and other commitments('In The Margins') I have found that a computer, a spare room and a blogspot became my 'head space' for the exhibition preparation.
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